Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Parker's Newborn Photo shoot



I had some of my amazingly talented friends take Pictures of Parker the week he was born. I felt miserable because of my breastfeeding struggles, but it was really important to me to have pictures done of him. A huge thank you to my friends Larissa and Stephanie for them taking their time to photograph my sweet baby. I cannot say thank you enough times, nor could I emphasize how grateful I am!












Parker's Birth Story


Parker tried to come into this world at 34 weeks. This was very scary because that means that he would have had to go into the Niccu. I ended up spending the whole day at the hospital as they tried to stop my contractions so that I did not go into active labor. Eventually the efforts paid off and I was free to go home. For the next several weeks I took it very easy to assure that Parker had enough time to develop. I had many people from church as well as close friends helping me through this tough time, so that I could rest and stay off my feet. I was so excited when I reached 37 weeks and Parker was considered full term.

At this point I was doing everything in my power to put myself into labor, but nothing seemed to be working. Parker was just awfully comfortable, I guess. I felt like everything was progressing perfectly and everything was in my control as far as birth decisions. That changed when I walked into my 39 week apt. I could feel a lot of pressure at the top of my stomach, and there was the big bulge sticking up. Not thinking much of it I casually asked my midwife what body part that was. She was not 100% sure but she said that she thought it could be a butt, since she was not positive we decided to do an ultra sound just to be sure. That is when we realized that Parker had flipped and was now head up, or breech.

That is when my head started spinning. How could this happen to me. I had an all-natural home birth with Levi, and I had every intention of having another all natural birth. I knew this would be impossible since breech babies are automatic c-sections. I just wanted to cry, but I held myself together in the Dr. office so that I could go over the few choices I had. We decided I had a lot of things going in my favor if I were to decide to do an inversion. An inversion is when you go into the hospital and they try to manually flip the baby by pushing on your stomach. Since I am so small it would be easier to push the baby directly, I also had lots of fluid still in my stomach, Parker flipped so late in the pregnancy there would be a good chance he could do it again, but at the same time I was 39 weeks pregnant and the further you are the harder it is. I decided I had nothing to lose by scheduling the apt. We made it for Thursday morning, which was three days later. As soon as I got out to the car I just lost it and became an emotional wreck. I could not stop crying. I called Morgan and my mom to tell them about the apt, and they could not believe that Parker would go from being head down at 38 weeks to breech at 39 weeks. My mom immediately got her plane ticket changed so that she could arrive Thursday afternoon in case Parker was to be born early.

Meanwhile they gave me a stretch to do that would help encourage the baby to flip back. I had to sit with my feel elevated in the air, and my back and head to the ground. It was highly uncomfortable, but I did it religiously. I also read online that if you put heat on the bottom of your stomach where you want the head, and ice on the top that also motivates them to move towards the heat. These methods both helped I am sure, but I think the thing that made the greatest difference was the fast that took place within our family. Morgan and all his family as well as my brother in law Thomas all fasted for me on Wednesday that Parker would flip back and be head down.

We got up at 4:30a.m. Thursday morning because we had to be at the hospital by 5:30 in order to get everything ready for the procedure. I was crazy nervous. I felt like I wanted to throw up and I had a bazillion butterflies in my stomach. I am not sure if I was more nervous for the IV or if I was nervous for the procedure that was about to take place, but either way my heart was racing. When the first nurse came in to do my IV I told her not to miss because I had a huge phobia of needles, and of course she missed, and it hurt so so so so bad. Right after she missed Holly the nurse who was going to be taking over the shift came in, so they decided that she would be the next one to make the attempt at my IV. I was very hesitant to let them try again with my arm, but I knew I had no choice. Let me just say Holly was amazing. It hardly hurt. She had that needle in and out so fast. My arm was throbbing from the first attempt, but felt fine where Holly did it. I talked about Holly’s IV skills for the rest of the day.

Finally it was time for the procedure. The Dr. came in to meet me and explained the way everything would work. They would have to move me into the operating room, just in case while they were pushing on my stomach the placenta detached and they would have to go straight into and emergency c-section. Before they moved me they did one last ultrasound to check  Parkers position. At first look we were pretty sure that he was still breech, and my heart sank. I was so disappointed. But after a minute of looking we realized we did not see the head. Finally we found it…and it was down! His head was sitting super low. I could not believe it, he flipped again! I was beyond happy, not only did I not have to get that procedure done, but I would also have another chance at a natural child birth. I know that heavenly father was watching over me, and that our family’s prayers and fast was answered.

I now had a very hard decision to make. I could be induced, right then and there and ensure that Parker would not flip again. Or I could go home, and wait for labor to start naturally, but if he flipped again I would end up with a C-section. We figured since he had flipped twice now in my final week of pregnancy there would be a high chance that he could do it again, so even though I knew that a natural child birth would be much more difficult with an induction I decided that it was my best shot. I have never liked the idea of being induced and I have always believed that my babies would come when they were fully developed and ready. I knew that Parker was not fully ready to be born, but I did not want to chance him going breech again, so considering my options that is what I decided to do. Parker was going to be born, and I was very excited. I was also very nervous because I knew that the labor was going to be extra tough, since I was going to be starting it artificially

I was not dilated at all, and his head was still sitting at a +2, so not much was going in my favor besides that fact that I had a super soft cervix. (I attribute this to an amazing cervix softener I take starting at 36 weeks.) We decided that we would start with Laura, my amazing midwife, stripping my membranes. After that I walked around the hospital for two hours to see if I could start labor somewhat naturally. After two hours nothing was progressing, so I had get hooked up to Pitocin. I was very hesitant and nervous about this, but I fully trusted my midwife and knew that it would be the only way to start labor that day. After several hours I was having very routine contractions about 2-3 minutes apart, I was dilated to around a six, but Parker was not dropping. At this point my best friend Anita came down to the hospital to support me through my labor. I was so excited she was able to come and be with me during this time, because talking to her made time move so much faster. I honestly think we could talk all day and never get bored. Every couple hours they would come in and turn up the Pitocin, and the contractions were slowly becoming more intense. I kept pushing everyone to let me go and labor in the tub, but in order for them to let me do this they would have to take me off of the Pitocin. So they checked me again and I was dilated to seven, but Parker still was not dropping. Laura said they would take me off the Pitocin and if my body could maintain the contractions on its own then they would move me to the tub. So after thirty minutes of no Pitocin I was still contracting so they let me move into the tub. On my way to the tub, my mom arrived to the hospital. Dean, Anita’s husband, was able to pick her up from the airport. I was very excited to have my mom there with me also. From there the contractions slowly started to fade over time. I remember sitting in the water just having a grand old time. I was still contracting a lot, but it was not bad. I was able to talk through all the contractions. I just remember we were all laughing a lot and having a lot of fun. I think this was the highlight of the labor, not counting the actual moment Parker was born of course. Even though we were all of having such a fun conversation, we knew the contractions were not intense enough if I was feeling so chatty and cheery. Laura checked me and I was still at a seven, and Parker still was not dropping and my cervix was still super high. That is when Laura suggested she break my water. I really did not want her to do this, because I knew that would bring on really fast and hard contractions, but the only other option was for me to get out of the tub, and go back on the Pitocin. Since I knew I wanted to stay in the tub for as long as possible I decided to have her break my water to see if that would progress things. By breaking my water that would drop Parkers head down, so that the contractions could be more effective in helping me dilate.

Well she broke my water, and sure enough the contractions got much more intense. I was no longer the one leading the conversation, but instead I was the one listening to the conversation. This was fine because even just listening was still a distraction. Pretty soon my labor took a hard turn, and I started to loose confidence in myself and my body. I was about to enter what I consider to be the hardest part of my labor. The contractions were getting to be extremely intense and close together which is fine because that is how it should be, but the discouraging thing was that I was still not dilating past a seven and Parker still was not dropping. I felt so defeated. I had been up since 4:00am had eaten hardly anything all day. It was probably close to seven and nothing was progressing.  The contractions were becoming more and more unbearable and I had nothing to show for it. Had I been having hard contractions and been progressing it would have been much easier to bear, but I was just so exhausted. To top it all off the tub did not get very warm water, so I was freezing cold and shivering. At his point I was running out of options and energy, so Laura recommended I get out of the tub and go back on the Pitocin. I remember I agreed if they would wrap me in warm blankets when I got out. I just loved the blanket warmer at the hospital. So I moved from the tub to the bed.
As much as I did not want to do this I was ready to try anything that would get Parker out of me. She also checked me again at this point, and parker had turned again. I was still at a seven, and he was not dropping. Since he was no longer in the correct birthing position, Laura laid me on my side with a huge ball between my legs in order to help Parker get into the correct position. At this point I was completely wiped out, and I was asking for an epidural. I just felt so depleted and discouraged. I wanted to give up. That is when my mom, Anita, and Morgan all just started to encourage me and help motivate me through those last moments. They cranked up the Pitocin and I had three of the most painful contractions I have ever experienced. I remember I punched Morgan in the head like three times during one of them because it was so intense.

Shortly after that I started to feel a strong urge to push. I was telling Laura I was pushing and I could not control it. At first I don’t think anyone fully believed me since I had wanted to push through the whole labor, but I could feel that this time was different. I asked Laura if I was close to delivering the baby and she said I need to have a more extreme push then that before it would be time to have the baby, but she said to listen to my body. Sure enough the next contraction I had a very extreme push, and everyone realized Parker was really coming. I remember pushing like crazy but I could not get his head through. At this point Laura told me she could see it and asked if I wanted to touch it. I said no, haha. Once people could see the top of the head I think everyone realized that this was going to be a BIG baby. With Levi as soon as his head was though his whole body literally just slid out, but that was not the case with Parker. Once his head was out, I remember yelling he is stuck! And I could not push him out any more. Laura told me to do one more big push, and she pulled and twisted and finally Parker was born 9 pounds 3.8 ounces.

The original plan was for Parker to be put on my chest right away so that the cord could pulse, but this was not an option since Laura felt like there was a chance he could have a broken collar bone because he got kinda stuck and had to be pulled out. Also since he was so big there were also potential risks.

I need to brag for a minute about how awesome my midwife Laura was, and also my little support group. Laura was able to get Parker out without hurting him, and left me with just some very minimal tearing that left me walking around that night. I had a bruised Pelvis from where his shoulder got stuck, but outside of that I felt great. I could not even feel the stitches. I will say I preferred the stitches more than the numbing stuff. The numbing shot was worse than the stitches. So Laura stopped giving me the numbing medicine upon my request. She acted quickly and was amazing. I did not feel like she was just my Dr. but also my friend. She was with me through the whole birth and was such a great support. In addition to Laura I had my mom Morgan, and Anita also there. They were incredible. Laura referred to them as the dream team, and said I had one of the best support circles she had seen. They all motivated me, loved me, and most of all believed in me. I cannot say how grateful I am to have such supportive family and friends.

I know that heavenly father had a hand in my child birth, and I know I could not have delivered Parker naturally without him. Had he gone to the same term as Levi Parker would have been over ten pounds and may have not fit through the birth canal. Just the fact that he was able to flip weighing 9 pounds blows my mind, but heavenly father knew that would be the only way I would agree to an induction. Parkers birth was 13 hours and it was rough, especially at the end but I am so grateful for the end result. Thank you to everyone who prayed and fasted for me, and to everyone who supported me through my birth. We love Parker so much!










Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Last Days as a Family of Three


It is crazy for me to think about how any day we are going to have two sons! I am so grateful that we will be able to raise two boys so close together. Levi has been the best toddler, and he is just bundles of fun! He is obsessed with balls, and I mean obsessed. He reaches for any and all round objects and then throws a fit until he gets them. It does not matter if it is the red round giant balls you find in front of a target, or a watermelon at the grocery store he wants them all the same. He does not only like holding the balls, but he loves throwing them too. I cannot wait for Parker to be a little older so that he and Levi can play catch together in the backyard. He had one of his first tantrums the other day at sports authority because I would not buy him this twenty dollar red Nike football. I felt like the meanest mom in the world when I had to take it away from him, and let him scream all the way out the door. Levi is just so sweet and loving which makes it very difficult to take things away.

He is also very good at playing catch. It has been easy to develop this talent of his since Morgan is always throwing balls in the house. Forget having a no throwing rule in our house because Morgan is equally as obsessed with balls as Levi. Levi seems to prefer to throw with his left hand, so I am excited to see if that sticks. He is going to be a great athlete one day and I cannot wait to start him in sports.

Every time Levi goes to bed I get to hold him while he drinks his sippy cup of milk. This has become one of my favorite moments in my whole day. He snuggles into me and just smiles, and it is the most precious thing. When I get up to lay him down I kiss his forehead and he just smiles so cute. Later when he wakes up I go in to get him and he just lays his head on my shoulder and gives me so much love. I just hope these moments can last forever, and that he will stay so sensitive and sweet.

Levi is also in love with his daddy. All I have to do is say daddy is home, and he runs to the door to look out the window. Once Morgan is inside Levi does not let him leave his sight. He chases him all over the house, and follows him anywhere and everywhere that he goes. If Morgan has to leave and do something outside of the house Levi will throw himself to the ground and have a huge tantrum because he misses his dad so much. It is so sweet to see how much he loves his mom and dad, I guess that means we are doing something right.

Levi went to nursery for the first time a few weeks ago, and he loved it. I was a little uneasy about taking him, but once he was there I did enjoy having my hands free for the rest of church. I forget what it was like to pay attention in Sunday School and Relief Society. Of course I went and peeked my head in to see how he was doing and I just saw him walking in circles with his arms full of balls. I would not have expected anything different.

Levi loves books too! In fact I would say that books are his next favorite thing after balls. He will bring me books all day long, and then he expects you to drop everything to read it to him. He will sit in listen to three stories in a row, and be completely entertained. I have also put some books in his crib so before and after he naps he is always flipping through the pages and reading them to himself. It is so so so cute. I have always wanted my kids to love reading, so this makes me very happy.

I have been taking Levi to the Ryme time at the library once or twice every week to help get him more socialized and use to being around other kids. This has been extremely successful, and he has been having more and more fun. The first time we went he hung on to my leg the whole time, and would not leave my side…not even for bubbles! After going for several weeks now he just runs into the middle of the crowd and goes crazy. He steals the librarian’s stuffed animals, and goes wild over the bubbles. It feels good to see my efforts paying off.

Levi is also at the age now where he can fully enjoy the park. He loves to go in the swings, and of course down the slides. He just runs all over and has a blast. It has been so nice to be able to keep adding more activities that we can do outside of the house. Levi loves to get out, and we try to do at least one outing a day.


I could talk about Levi all day, but I want to be sure to also talk about Morgan and I. We are very excited to welcome Parker into this world. We know it will be an adjustment to go from being a family of three to a family of four, but we are so excited for the change. It is fun to see our family growing, and cannot wait to see Parkers personality. We are prepared for the challenges that come from having a newborn in the home, but neither one of us feels stressed or over whelmed. We make such a great team, and are so excited for the adventure. We are so grateful for all of the blessings in our life, and love the direction we are moving. We cannot wait to see what Heavenly father has in store for us!






The Joys of Pregnancy

I am not going to sit here and sugar coat how amazing and awesome pregnancy is because right now I am sick of being pregnant. This will be a post of me complaining so feel free to skip it if you don’t want to listen to me vent. Also feel free to not read if you might get offended.

Being pregnant of course is a blessing, and I am grateful every day that I am able to have the opportunity to have children. However, that does not mean that pregnancy does not bring challenges. For me I do not have to deal with much nausea or morning sickness. I also have not had too much back pain, and I have had no signs of any swollen body parts. Instead I have had the challenge of being small and pregnant. When I got pregnant I only weighed 100 pounds, and so far I have gained almost 40lbs. That is me gaining almost 50% of my body weight in a very short amount of time, and that comes with its own aches and pains. I have been so sore. My stomach is so tender, and sensitive. In addition to that I feel every movement the baby makes which is fun until they get stronger and those kicks start to really hurt. Bending over and picking things up is always a daunting task. I started having trouble putting my pants on in the second trimester, and socks well forget it. I pretty much have accepted I am going to be in a lot of pain and remain pretty uncomfortable until this baby is born.

The other challenge for me has been everyone asking me about the pregnancy. Don’t get me wrong I love attention, but I literally cannot even walk inside of Costco without 10 strangers telling me I am hiding a basketball under my shirt, and then asking me my due date, gender, and name I have picked out for the baby. It’s not that I do not enjoy talking about these things, but imagine having this same conversation 20 times a day; it can get extremely exhausting not to mention boring.

On top of that I am constantly being asked how I feel, and the truth is I feel miserable. I feel like people ask me that question expecting some fake cheery response like “life is all butterflies and rainbows” but really I just want to say…”how do you think I feel, I am 38 weeks pregnant.” I would rather they just acknowledge these last few weeks are hard, and then give me some words of encouragement. That way I do not feel the need to put on a fake smile. 

And last there is the challenge of never knowing when the baby is going to come, and that is hard in itself, because you want to be able to physically and emotionally prepare for the arrival of your new sweet baby, but every time you let yourself think the day is coming it doesn’t and then your left filled with disappointment just to wake up to a text asking if the baby came.


Pregnancy is rough, but it’s worth it. I am glad that mine is almost over and I will get to meet Parker in a few short days.